Shirts to Question The Narrative
The Ninja believes it’s essential we know why we fight.
So, after hearing #1 Grasshopper’s personal experience, he asked him to create this shirt.
Holding his firstborn for the first time, #1 Grasshopper was shocked by the words that flashed to his mind, as powerfully as if spoken with thunder:
>>> “NOW I KNOW WHY MEN GO TO WAR.” <<<
This wasn’t really the soft Hallmark-movie music he anticipated. There was no oohing and aahing…
Only “NOW I KNOW WHY MEN GO TO WAR.”
Grasshopper was enveloped in Shock & Awe, as he stared into the eyes of his beautiful newborn. He had never really thought of himself as a warrior.
But as every dad knows, it comes with the “package” that's handed to you that day. Grasshopper knew he would lay down his life for this little one, in an instant, should the need ever arise. It was God's way of preparing him for battles to come.
As peace-loving as we may be, the birthing of a warrior’s heart is unavoidable when it comes to protecting the safety and well-being of our kids.
And that’s why we fight (with Ninja stealth, of course) for the ideas & values that made America great. It's our legacy of Freedom, protected and passed down to our children, and their children…here at The Socialism Distancing Ninja.
Tell people why you fight with this Special Edition Ninja shirt…or give one to that special new dad in your life, who’s feeling the call (yes, The Ninja is calling...as well)!
So, why do The Ninja's shirts cost a little more?
Well, besides the amazing, surprising, one-of-a-kind designs, straight from the mind of The Ninja himself...
And then, the undeniable quality of American Apparel...
Ninja shirts are priced to support the American Worker!
(Not a sweat-shop, empowering the Chinese Communist Party as they exploit captive workers!)
You can rest assured your purchase not only broadcasts a special message of Freedom to all those you meet, but that it also supports the kind of practical Freedom & Opportunity that made America a beacon to the world.
(Yes, Naysayers, there is a reason we remain an immigration magnet!)
Shipping is Free!
And remember: The Ninja slices through shipping fees with a fierce veracity only The Ninja can muster…(we had a video on social media – it was amazing – they banned it). But, for now, rest assured: The Ninja fights for you and SHIPPING IS FREE! (No one dares cross The Ninja!)
So, about the shirt:
It's fitted, comfortable, and soft—this t-shirt was made just for you (or at least another Ninja just like you). It can withstand many complex Ninja-moves and the much needed washings that follow, while maintaining its Ninja shape, so it's great for everyday wear!
• 100% fine jersey cotton
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz/y² (146 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Made in the good ole USA!
Unisex Size Guide:
(Please measure carefully, and then, through rigorous exercise, good nutrition and thinking thin, fiercely maintain your weight. Ninja shirts are custom-made to your exact order, so as compassionate as The Ninja is, #1 Grasshopper cannot find a way to give refunds for wrong sizes ordered.)
“Measure twice, order, wear – YOU can be a Socialism Distancing Ninja!” – The Ninja
"Ingenius! Light-years ahead of its time!"
"Tarzan wear Ninja shirt on Sunday..."
"We don't make those here..."
Carl (#1 Grasshopper)
Founder & CEO
Although he may silently nod while acknowledging praise from others, we all understand Carl is only a Grasshopper in the eyes of the Ninja.
But even so, near the beginning of Covid-19 Carl found himself asking, “How can I protect and provide for my family?” and “How can I contribute to the fight against this terrible disease?”
The answer emerged somewhere between his ears…the Ninja magically appeared and soon creative, quality T-shirts were Carl’s obsession – first, to fight the virus, and then, as the world situation devolved, to sort out the lies and fight the “sharks”.
Carl lives near the action, in the shark infested waters of Seattle...where he paddles as fast as he can. When not thinking-up new T-shirts, you can find him immersed in outdoor adventures along with his family. He’s also been known to frequent various musical events where his daughter plays a mean piano.
Carl's greatest desire is to (alongside The Ninja) equip you for battle in the arena of culture and competing ideas...