Shirts to Question The Narrative
If you get up in the night and see this design laser-beamed on your chest, quickly turn to the side and wait for the Ninja’s death star to wiz past your nose.
It’s all done in love, of course (The Ninja wants you to always be ready). And The Ninja will howl for hours if he’s really freaked you out – he has a wicked sense of humor, that way. So, try not to act too startled.
But if you pass the test, he’ll give you a pat on the back, followed by a low, gruff “Well done, Grasshopper!”, and you can continue wearing his shirt for many years to come.
(This is the only shirt that comes with a personal visit from The Ninja.)
Good luck –
So, why do The Ninja's shirts cost a little more?
Well, besides the amazing, surprising, one-of-a-kind designs, straight from the mind of The Ninja himself...
And then, the undeniable quality of American Apparel...
Ninja shirts are priced to support the American Worker!
(Not a sweat-shop, empowering the Chinese Communist Party as they exploit captive workers!)
You can rest assured your purchase not only broadcasts a special message of Freedom to all those you meet, but that it also supports the kind of practical Freedom & Opportunity that made America a beacon to the world.
(Yes, Naysayers, there is a reason we remain an immigration magnet!)
Shipping is Free!
And remember: The Ninja slices through shipping fees with a fierce veracity only The Ninja can muster…(we had a video on social media – it was amazing – they banned it). But, for now, rest assured: The Ninja fights for you and SHIPPING IS FREE! (No one dares cross The Ninja!)
So, about the shirt:
It's fitted, comfortable, and soft—this t-shirt was made just for you (or at least another Ninja just like you). It can withstand many complex Ninja-moves and the much needed washings that follow, while maintaining its Ninja shape, so it's great for everyday wear!
• 100% fine jersey cotton
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz/y² (146 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Made in the good ole USA!
Unisex Size Guide:
(Please measure carefully, and then, through rigorous exercise, good nutrition and thinking thin, fiercely maintain your weight. Ninja shirts are custom-made to your exact order, so as compassionate as The Ninja is, #1 Grasshopper cannot find a way to give refunds for wrong sizes ordered.)
“Measure twice, order, wear – YOU can be a Socialism Distancing Ninja!” – The Ninja
"Ingenius! Light-years ahead of its time!"
"Tarzan wear Ninja shirt on Sunday..."
"Hmmm...we don't make those here..."
Carl (#1 Grasshopper)
Founder & CEO
Although he may just silently nod while accepting acclaim for The Ninja's store, everyone knows Carl Knox is only a Grasshopper in the eyes of the Ninja.
But even so, near the beginning of Covid-19 he found himself asking, “How can I protect and provide for my family?” and “How can I contribute to the fight against this terrible disease?”
The answer emerged somewhere between his ears. The Ninja magically appeared and soon creative, quality T-shirts were Carl’s obsession – first, to fight the virus; and then, as the virus became politicized, to sort-out the lies and fight the “sharks”.
Carl lives near the action in the shark infested “waters” of Seattle. When not thinking-up new T-shirts, you can find him immersed in outdoor adventures along with his family. He’s also been known to frequent various musical events where his daughter plays a mean piano.
Carl's greatest desire is to equip you for battle in the arena of competing cultural ideas (under the close supervision of The Ninja, of course)...